Don't send protocol messages to a shm_mq that no longer exists.

Commit 2bd9e412 introduced a mechanism
for relaying protocol messages from a background worker to another
backend via a shm_mq.  However, there was no provision for shutting
down the communication channel.  Therefore, a protocol message sent
late in the shutdown sequence, such as a DEBUG message resulting from
cranking up log_min_messages, could crash the server.  To fix, install
an on_dsm_detach callback that disables sending messages to the shm_mq
when the associated DSM is detached.